Posted by Blanquis in 
Growing up, I always did what was expected of me. Thought I cared too much of what people thought of me, challenging and pushing myself to do better.
Years later, I fully understood why I pushed myself to surpass everybody’s expectations…..
My mom always showed me off as the “straight A’s” daughter, the “always cleans her room” daughter, the “very respectful” daughter, and so on. That was her way of telling me she loved and was proud of me, without directly letting me know of course.
My mom was born in Mexico, her upbringing was very strict and even though she was loved, she was not told she was. It’s not that my grandparents were mean, they just did as they were taught growing up themselves. They didn’t know any better.
I promised myself that I would break this chain when I had kids, the chain has been broken. My oldest is ten years old and I tell him I love him everyday, even more than three times a day. You might say I went overboard, but maybe he can balance it out better with my grand kids.
The journey to finding and loving myself though, was very hard. Thought it was selfish, thought I was wasting that love on me instead of someone else. I found out that the people I love the most benefit more if I love myself. Now…..I can’t get enough of me!
Jonathan, Damian and Nicholas is how I introduce my sons. Won’t give you a list of their many accomplishments, but I will tell you this….
“They are my LIFE!”
I LOVE IT.
I must say that I came from a similar background and upbringing. When I was younger I couldn’t understand why my parents didn’t (namely my father) love me.
Why did he not appreciate what I was able to do? Why he couldn’t just tell me he loved me? Why he couldn’t pat me on the back and say “Bien hecho mijo (Good job, son)” I couldn’t figure it for the life of me.
I began to accept that my father was not changing and loved him regardless, although I still had this passion and hunger to make him proud of me.
Years later I realized that my father could not love me like I wanted to be loved because he was not loved in that same manner (follow me now…) How could he show me that love if he never received it? How was he to pat me on the back if he was never given a pat on the back for the work he has done? Who’s fault is it?
Who cares. It is what it is.
I love my father. He is a difficult man, but hey I have been told the same. And I, like you, blanquis am breaking that cycle and starting a pattern of overloving.
Keep up the great writing (time you gave us some more to read and enjoy) and the sharing.
You are raising 3 awesome young men that will take over the world. One poor soul at a time. hehe…
Thank you,
teevee
Good one. You’ll never hear me say you went overboard.
Cheers,
Scot
@scotmckay
Raising my son has taught me similar lessons, and I never feel as though I could ever say ‘I love you’ too many times - to him or to myself.
Children learn about love based on how their parents treat them, and also by how their parents treat themselves. Self respect is such a powerful force, for both the individual and the observer.
I’m thinking you must be the best mom ever!!
Great message!
Keep up the great work with your kids and the great messages for us readers. You are a blessing!
There is no overboard when you are talking about expressing love with your children. Though of course, raising boys, the hugs and kisses turn into high fives and fist bumps to maintain the ‘cool’ factor in their young lives while still expressing the love.
Dawn
Dawn,
Thank you so much for your comment. You more than anybody knows how it is to raise three boys and I appreciate your feedback. I am going through the “cool” factor with my ten year old! Time flies when you are having fun!
I have 2 daughters, one who is 4 and another who is 6 months. “They are my life” is an understatement.
I think i tell the 4 yr old how much i love her 5 times a day. I cant help it - there are at least 5 moments a day that she makes me feel so proud - and my response is always the same - “I love you so much”.
The 6 mo old provides the same moments, and hears it equally.
Thanks for sharing this. I love your blog, its very clean and easy to navigate.
Im going to give my sleeping daughters a kiss,
Sean
I want to shower and go to sleep because I need to do some network marketing training tomorrow morning, and I’m still up because of your very interesting posts Blanca lol…
I am not a father yet, like I’ve said before.. But all of my 5 nephews from my brother and sister combined like me more than their actual parents. My brother’s kids think I’m that cool uncle everybody wants to have, they respect me so much and I take them out a lot and rent them video games to reward their good behavior and their awesome grades. I know renting them games, or taking them to the movies is not so necessary. But just spending time with them feels great. They are so smart, and they want to grow up so fast. It seems like yesterday when I bought the baby crib for my nephew “Jr” and now he’s ten and he’s out there talking to girls and telling me that they like him and asking me what to tell them in different circumstances lol.. My oldest is 13 and he already had a GF she asked him to be her bf lol.. And my only niece loves me as if I was her other dad.
My sister’s kids are very different. They wont listen to my sister or her husband, but they listen to me. Her lil one is one year old, and he doesn’t talk yet, but he always prefers to be in my arms rather than his parents or my parents lol… They’re like two Tasmanian devils, and her oldest one I have to fight him(as in just playing) when he doesn’t listen to my sister. I submit him and twist is arm or give him a neck choke like “tapout” and wont let him go, until he taps.. but he likes that. My sis and her husband wont play with them and don’t dedicate as much time to them like I do.
I wont let my sister’s son to talk back to me like he does to her husband. I treat him with respect, and raise my deep voice if I have to. I know I don’t need to hit them or anything like other people do. But they know my voice demands respect, and that I’m being serious when I’m serious.
There’s a lot to talk about, I just wanted to say that I can relate to you even if I don’t have kids of my own yet lol..
And Scot Mckay is a great friend of mine. I know him, and his wife personally and those are people you wanna keep being friends with for the rest of your life. I wish we were neighbors because they are “that cool” in person lol… They’re very psychologically smart, and they’re fun to hangout with. I don’t know if Scot will ever read this again. But he’s what I consider an ideal friend.
Well Blanca.. I think this is it for tonight. I’m gonna jump in the shower, then take a lil nap because today’s going to be a long day. Have a good night. *hugs*